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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Is this a good custody schedule for our kids?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm kind of shocked by all of the negativity in these responses... My ex and I had this exact schedule after we divorced (1 child who was 7 when we split up) and it worked well for all three of us. Mom was always with the kid for the M/Tu stuff and dad was always with the kid for the W/Th stuff, which gave us nice consistency. We lived 7 minutes apart and both of our houses were a 15 minute drive from kid's school, so if an item was left behind or needed to be dropped off it was not a problem. Once kid reached 8th grade, they asked to not do the mid week switch so we changed the schedule to alternating weeks with each parent. At that point, ex and I were on good terms and had no problem with having the other parent take the kid out to dinner or do other stuff with them during the other parent's week.[/quote] Actually maybe we did not have the exact same schedule: ours was Mom M/Tu Dad W/Th alternating F/S/Sun The "handing off" would happen at school- so Mom would always drop off kid at school on Wednesday morning and Dad would pick up on that day; whoever had the kid for the weekend would pick up from school on Friday afternoon and drop off at school on Monday morning, and mom would always pick up from school on Monday. Kid didn't need to tote much stuff between houses when they were young so it was easy for them to take what they needed with them to school. As they got older, there was more and more stuff. Once we switched to the week on/week off schedule, we would do the handoff on Sunday afternoon so that all the stuff could be dropped off along with the kid.[/quote] OP here. Thanks so much for sharing your experience. We thought about the week on/week off but it would be really a logistical challenge for my ex's schedule to take them to/from school every day. And kids would need to stay for after school etc.[/quote] You are welcome. Looking back on our experience (kid is now 19): I think that we were lucky in that both my ex and I were willing to be flexible with each other and succeeded in conveying to our kid that we were trying our best to do things in a way that would work as well as possible for all of us. If the parents can give each other grace and consideration (I know that that isn't always possible for people with unreasonable exes), it can make things easier. We all agreed that if doing things a certain way was really bad for one of us, we would make every effort to help it get better and/or to change things. Along the way my ex and I had to tweak our work schedules a few times. When things like sports were added to the mix, we found ways to trade rides and after-practice meals with other families. I think that our kid felt like they were listened to when they were unhappy about specific aspects of the schedule, and in return they were usually willing to give things a try when we asked for changes. They are now a college student and are very relaxed about moving between mom and dad's house and are genuinely happy to have both places be their home.[/quote]
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