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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Our family has done a beach trip for 30 years to the same beach every summer for the 4th . As we’ve gotten older and grandparents have passed, our parents have started paying for it instead but the house we rent costs $15k a week which to me sounds insane for a beach house in the Carolinas. In real life, I’m not super close to these relatives , but we see them this week but honestly it feels like everyone argues the whole trip, and the house is way too small for people and their partners.

This was a really fun tradition when I was young, but my DH and I live in DC now with our two young kids and the trip is miserable. Due to spacing, my husband and I have to sleep in bunk beds in a separate room  from one another and our kids on air mattresses in the den , aka no one sleeps the whole week, and it’s a terrible time for both of our jobs since the end of the quarter is crazy for us. So we end up on the phone for most of the trip relying on relatives to watch our kids,  But we’ve gone every year because it’s tradition but honestly I’m ready for our own family (and my parents and brother) to do our own thing. I have several cousins that feel the same but I’m the first to have kids / my kids are the only kids. Money isn’t an issue with us finding our own accommodations, it’s the fact that there is nowhere else for us to stay nearby. 
The house also has a staircase that is really dangerous for young kids and while it’s gated off people forget to close the gate constantly

I’m in between a rock and a hard place because we don’t pay for this trip, but it’s a HUGE commitment for us regarding  taking time off work as the quarter is closing and the 10+ hour drive both ways and everyone’s on edge the whole time, not just my husband and I.  Money isn’t an issue for myself or my parents but really wish my family did a trip with just us the way DHs does - so much more enjoyable and less stressful and my parents paying 5k for a trip where we work most of the time seems so impractical.  How would you approach this conversation with your parents about how something needs to change? Just don’t want to disappoint anyone but things evolve as we grow up! 
[/quote]

There was some excellent advice here.

If you need updates to your situation make them clear to your mom and go for it.

If your mom pouts and gets upset you can feel bad about it, but don’t budge.

If a cousin decides to do what you want to do now your mom will accept it. She has to accept it from you first. [/quote]

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