Reply to At what point do men have the upper hand in the dating market?

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Reply to "At what point do men have the upper hand in the dating market?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Maybe OP should have asked something like "when does the median man have the upper hand over the median woman in the dating market?"

Some responses have gotten at that question, more or less. But others are are offering up responses saying "outliers always have the upper hand!"

Women clearly have the upper hand in their 20s. I'd say men clearly have the upper hand by their 60s. Between 30s-50s, I guess I don't know where I'd place the tipping point. [/quote]

Women only have the "upper hand" in their 20s if you define the goal as getting a date or getting laid. Women in their 20s who want relationships (which is a lot of women) do not have the upper hand. Men in their 20s who want to get laid may struggle because if it's just about s*x, women can be choosy and like men will gravitate towards the hottest guy. Or they will go for the guy they most want to be in a relationship with which usually means good job and good looks, but for women, sleeping with that guy does not necessarily mean getting a relationship.

So yeah, if you are a woman in your 20s and you just want to get laid, the world is your oyster and you have it easier than a man who wants to get laid. But if you are a woman in your 20s and you want marriage, kids, and long term stability, you have very little power and men have ALL the power there. Men think women withhold sex in order to gain power and that can be true, but men withhold commitment in order to get power far more often. Talk to heterosexual women in their 20s who want relationships and ask them how that's going.

There is this tiny window in late 20s and early 30s where more men become interested in long-term relationships and marriage, where women have an advantage because they are still young enough to look the way men want them to look and to where fertility is not as critical of an issue as it will be later. But by 34/35, that window has closed and men again have the power because men that age will start looking at younger women in order to get the looks/fertility they want (even if it's just a few years younger -- for a 35 year old woman, watching men your age marry women who are 29-32 is no more rewarding than watching them marry 22 year olds).

If you want marriage/kids/commitment, men almost always have the upper hand. If you are a man who wants those things and you are having trouble finding women, you need to look inward and ask yourself if there is some problem with you that is making you a bad prospect, because it's not just that you're a man. There is ALWAYS a market for commitment-minded men.[/quote]

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