Reply to At what point do men have the upper hand in the dating market?

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Reply to "At what point do men have the upper hand in the dating market?"

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[quote=Anonymous]It's not men versus women. Some people are desirable on the dating market. What makes a person desirable can be gendered, though it's becoming less so as time goes on. It used to be that men needed to have money and women needed to be attractive, but now that women can work, they are able to look at other qualities of men when choosing a mate (thus increased pressure on men to be good looking and have good personalities). Likewise, now that two-income families are more the norm, men are more likely to value a woman's wealth or ability to earn than they did 100 years ago.

But it's individual. Some men absolutely have the "upper hand" in the dating market. Some women have no leverage.

The good news for men is that looks tend to be *less* important for them, which means their power in the dating market is more in their hands. Get a good job (doesn't need to be the highest earning job -- women also value men who simply demonstrate financial stability and independence, they just don't want men who don't work or will try to get out of working because women continue to be handicapped in the job market due to childbirth/motherhood so it's really beneficial to have a man who is ready and willing to earn). Work on your personality -- are you kind? funny? do you fall apart in a crisis or do you have resilience and humor in the face of adversity? These are all learned skills. If you don't have them, go to therapy and figure it out.

Women also have to do this, but observationally, women are more conditioned to work on themselves and make themselves attractive to potential mates. Men are more likely to have this attitude of "take it or leave it." Well, sometimes women will leave it. But if you have a growth mindset and are willing to work on yourself, there's no reason you can't become more desirable on the dating market.[/quote]

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