Reply to SIL bankrupted ILs: Awkward family gathering in July

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If your in-laws own their home and plan to leave their estate to be split evenly between the brother and sister, I would suggest that OP's family only continue to help bail out the I laws if the will is changed to pay OP's family back first before splitting. [/quote]

Op here - to answer some questions:

- No one in this scenario is “rich” - we are solidly DMV middle class double income with a SN kid. Ie we own an older SFH home in an outer burb and vacation in rehobeth not the Maldives.

- IL gave SIL $400K plus in 2 years
-IL house was valued between $350-400k (not DMV). They took $200k out of the house equity as a lump sum.
-It wasn’t enough. IL then took another $200k from IRAs and other retirement vehicles.
-Still not enough.IL pay a portion of their fixed income to “support the kids”. They are now unable to afford the rising cost of healthcare premiums / “donut hole” which is what DH and I pay monthly now.

There is no inheritance left. Nothing. IL told DH he could have the house in the will but SIL needed to live there until she was secure enough to get her own place (free). DH said no as the financial and tax burden would be net negative.

SIL is 50. Not 25.

I guess I’ll just pretend that none of this happened when I see her and say as little as possible.

I also agree- this is IL fault. Helping your kid/grandkids out is one thing but this is next level enabling.

If ILs were 10 years younger they wouldn’t have done this. But in their 80s with health issues, I guess the ability to say no is much harder. 
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