Reply to How have you maintained close friendships with friends struggling with infertility/loss?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]pp here again.  And I valued their friendships immensely.  I was suffering and couldn't be around people.  Anyone -not my parents, sister, brothers, and friends.  Why does that make me such a shitty friend?  I retreated unless I had to come out.  I would think that's a blessing for those around me.  Seriously, you have some issues. [/quote]

You're being defensive. Does this mean you recognize your shitty behavior? You yourself said:

I was always angry, bitter at the world, at God, at everything. So, I wouldn't call my friends back, wouldn't get together and [b][u]when we would, I was often sad and difficult to be around.[/u] [/b]

That sounds pretty shitty to me. And it still sounds like you're not recognizing that you were a terrible friend. [/quote]

It was implied that I was shitty.  Must I spell everything out for you? The fact that my friends forgave me means the world to me.  I said they embraced me and acted like nothing was wrong and[u][b] let me come back into their lives[/b][/u] [u][b]without questioning me, making me feel guilty or bad[/b][/u].

That implies that I know I was shitty and my friends didn't make me feel guilty or bad about it.  I'm telling the OP that if she wants to do something nice for her friends, it's to forgive them when or if they are sometimes shitty through their ordeal.

However, the fact that you seem to not give anyone any leeway or let them have their bad times or give them space when they need it the most shows that you will probably lose a lot of friends.  Like it or not, life throws people curve balls.  Sometimes they suck.   Sometimes they suck really bad and it takes people time to adjust and go through the grieving process (yeah, anger is part of the process).  Friends like you who won't give those people time to grieve whatever they're going through without making them feel guilty or bad by calling them selfish and shitty friends and making what they did or didn't do are called fair-weathered friends and are quite shallow.  Trust me when I tell you that your friends will drop like flies and not bother to try and re-establish the friendship after they grieved because you're not worth it.

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