Reply to Concern About Confidentiality of Financial Aid Information

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[quote=Anonymous]This. I’m sorry but it feels like someone has a chip on their shoulder. I have been in DC private schools for 14 years with my children and also work there. FA is not a topic people use as gossip at all and no one outside of the FA committee knows. Gossip exists at private schools of course but knowing who receives financial aid is not a topic I’ve ever heard anyone discuss because as someone else said, half the families are receiving grandparent funding.

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You clearly triggered some people, OP! :-)

Two things: word gets around because this information is not actually confidential. But most of the stuff you read on DCUM is people making assumptions based on context clues.[/quote]

Yes, clearly the people who knows private info of others are triggered!! They know that they know stuff they should not know. [b]And they should realize that it is crystal clear to the financial aid families that this is happening.[/b][/quote]

My dear OP. Some of these people think FA families are secondary citizens at school, and should just be grateful for the crumbs they receive - so they absolutely do not care how they come across. I've read such gems on here writing as "I'm paying for their kid's education, so they'd better behave and look humble and grateful!". What can you do with such people?

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Yes, we are totally secondary citizens, that's what we expected. BUT, we never thought we would be the subject of gossip among big donor parents and school staff. That has been a shock.[/quote]

You have the last laugh because they are funding your kid’s education. Just be glad it’s not the same as my brother’s boarding school in the 1990s. They made him work part time in the dining halls cleaning up after his classmates as part of his financial aid package.

[/quote]

We remain grateful, as we always have been. Our child is doing well, and we’re confident he will continue to thrive. He’s receiving an excellent education during a formative time in his life, and we truly value that.

However, as parents, the experience has become increasingly difficult. The gossip and judgment we’ve encountered have left us feeling unwelcome and alienated. It’s reached a point where we no longer feel comfortable participating in school events or volunteering extensively. Why continue showing up only to feel scrutinized? It’s disheartening and makes it clear that, as parents, we don’t belong.

As a result, we’ve decided to step back from school-related activities, unless doing so would negatively impact our child's education. This is not a decision made lightly, but one driven by self-respect and a need to protect our well-being.

Looking ahead, this also affects how we speak about the school. While our child is having a positive experience (and we will never take that away from him) we don’t anticipate actively promoting the school, donating, or participating in alumni events. His success will speak for itself (as in national awards), but we may simply choose not to connect it publicly with this institution, unless he wishes to do so himself.

In short, our child is thriving, and for that we are thankful. But as parents, we feel done. [/quote]

I don’t understand what there is to gossip about. “Did you know Susie and Jacob’s child is on financial aid?” That’s it. What else is there? It’s pretty boring. I would be like “huh” and move on. [/quote][/quote]

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