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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you've made your younger child the golden child and your older child the family scapegoat. As a family scapegoat, it pings hard for me reading your post. Older child is not allowed to express her needs. Her needs -- time with her friend group, sleep, some time to herself away from younger sibling -- are viewed as selfish wants. I remember it well, it was awful. My mother didn't see me as a person, she saw me as an obstacle to glorifying my sibling, she sided with my sibling against me, I was selfish for...wanting, separating, being me. You are setting up your children to not be close when they grow up.[/quote]

I’m poster 10:10 above and I had a harsh reaction too. This poster verbalized it better.  My mother is still doing it, but now with the grandkids. My siblings and I get along well now, as adults, but I live far away.  The young ones live close to them.  When we visit, she pulls the same stuff now with the grandkids and trying to force them together and now they all have resentment and hate the visits.  They are years apart and rather than having normal healthy visits she tries for these forced outings, like you are doing, where the older ones have to entertain the younger ones for “family time.”   It creates resentment.  [/quote]

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