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[quote=Anonymous]I have a hypercritical and control-freak mother, who called me fat (I was underweight), restricted food and did not let me see my friends, without any sort of excuse like protecting an elderly person from Covid. She has little education, severe untreated anxiety and was neglected as a child, which explains her parenting 180 and tendency to smother me. I resented her for all my adolescence and my 20s, because she had no awareness of her own actions. At 30, I cut her off for 6 months, and then relented because I missed my father and he comes as a package deal. We now have a constructive but very long-distance relationship, being on different continents. If we were any closer, I wouldn't be able to stand her, honestly.

Unless there are some things you're not telling us, it's your daughter who sounds like she's dealing with mental health issues. It's OK to put some distance between yourselves! She will get better or she won't, but right now, you're the last person she will accept help from. I hope your husband can act as mediator, and perhaps he, or someone else she trusts in the family or circle of friends, would be in a better position to suggest a psychology evaluation. No therapy for now, OP, that comes after a diagnosis (a lot of people don't understand this). She needs to see an actual psychologist who can conduct an assessment.

I hope things get better.

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