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[quote=Anonymous]Thanks all.

I’ll respond with bullets.

1. Yes, he can be verbally and emotionally abusive but not to the level that would have the courts decrease his percentage of custody (I have looked into this already). That is why I am desperately seeking other solutions.

2. I have looked internally, we have done couples counseling, and I have done individual therapy. I have modified my behavior to avoid making him angry, minimized conversations and also tried to engage romantically and encourage that he go out with friends. In the end, there is no rhyme or reason for his outbursts. He insults me or the girls, even when it’s something like a thunderstorm that is making us late for an event. It is unpredictable and uncontrollable.

3. He is aware. Has gone to anger management. He used to apologize to us too but has stopped doing that years ago. He just acts like nothing ever happened the next day. That is mentally damaging my girls. It confuses them so much.

4. I am torn. Staying sets a terrible example yet I would have oversight 100% of the time. Leaving, risks him going nuclear with me and result in them being alone with him 50% of the time. Think, the school year, when it’s his week, he would be “helping” with their homework for 5 days. The thought of how angry he gets, without me there to intervene, worries me so much.

5. Yes, he could be generally calmer with me gone. However, we don’t know for sure. He will be angry regardless because of us having to split assets and bring down our standard of living. Not sure the freedom he gets will offset the anger of me breaking up the family and splitting assets.

6. I appreciate the solidarity and words of encouragement. There are days that I am paralyzed over all this and feel like I can’t breathe. I am also isolated. Can’t share this with friends (aside from a couple). Hugs right back to anyone suffering through this.

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