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[quote=Anonymous]

This thread is about feeling different and trying to find friends, regardless of whether OP is a troll or not.

On that level, I get it. We are a multi-national family, non-US educated, and we do not neatly fit into any American or immigrant category, because my husband and I between us have four distinct cultural backgrounds.

And yet we have found our friends. Some of them are crunchy middle class American liberals, some of them are more centrist or libertarian, and the rest are various NIH/World Bank/Embassy internationals with their own unique backgrounds. None of them have the specific cultures and values we have, because that would be impossible.

The people who are different, by upbringing or choice, OP, are the ones who need to stretch a little to find their friends. Your friends will also have to stretch a little to understand you, and find common ground on certain things. You will not find common ground on everything, even if you meet someone you think is exactly like you! Differences will emerge eventually.

As for your specific dilemma: my kids are in college and high school, and I've seen the outcomes of a wide range of parenting styles. You need to be more tolerant of methods you don't yourself embrace, OP. You'll see in the end how it works out for everyone, and you might regret shutting out entire groups who had slightly different priorities. It's perfectly possible  to befriend and get along with parents who don't have the exact same priorities and disposable income you do. The outcomes depend not only on family educational investment (in time and effort, not just cost of tuition), extra-curricular participation, but also on the presence or absence of special needs and level of IQ. And many other things besides.

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