Reply to Question for adult women with married brothers

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Question for adult women with married brothers"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you hold your brother’s wife accountable for his behavior? I’ve never had a close relationship with my SIL, and it’s fine—we’re very different and not close in age. But my husband has never put much effort into his relationship with his family—as a brother, uncle, or son—and I sometimes feel like I’m held responsible for that.

Like if he forgets to RSVP for a wedding, or doesn’t buy gifts for his nieces and nephews, or if he’s not visiting his mother very frequently, it seems to reflect more poorly on me than him, but I don’t know if I’m just imagining hard feelings.[/quote]

No, but I find it odd that you will not also do those things as they are also your nieces and nephews and your MIL and you are included on the invitation.  I look poorly on you for your own actions.[/quote]

Do you look poorly on husbands who don’t do these things for their wives’ families?

I am a wife. When my sister’s daughter got married recently, it never would have occurred to my DH to take care of the RSVP and my sister never in a million years would have contacted him to ask about it. But in his family, it’s assumed that I’m in on these details, if not entirely responsible for them.

And it’s a tiny thing, absolutely, but the tiny things start to pile up. The expectations are so uneven.[/quote]

You two need to communicate as a couple. The invite was addressed to the both of you. It’s not ok to not rsvp. If you both are dropping the ball on this, have a sit down and decide how you will handle the tasks going toward. Other people shouldn’t pay a price because you two don’t talk to each other about day to day to-do’s.[/quote]

OP here. We definitely dropped the ball. No argument there. My point is that, if an RSVP is missed on my side of the family, the communication goes straight to me. My sister (or her husband) would never hold my husband accountable for it, even though his name would be on that invitation, too.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics