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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you hold your brother’s wife accountable for his behavior? I’ve never had a close relationship with my SIL, and it’s fine—we’re very different and not close in age. But my husband has never put much effort into his relationship with his family—as a brother, uncle, or son—and I sometimes feel like I’m held responsible for that.

Like if he forgets to RSVP for a wedding, or doesn’t buy gifts for his nieces and nephews, or if he’s not visiting his mother very frequently, it seems to reflect more poorly on me than him, but I don’t know if I’m just imagining hard feelings.[/quote]

No, but I find it odd that you will not also do those things as they are also your nieces and nephews and your MIL and you are included on the invitation.  I look poorly on you for your own actions.[/quote]

Do you look poorly on husbands who don’t do these things for their wives’ families?

I am a wife. When my sister’s daughter got married recently, it never would have occurred to my DH to take care of the RSVP and my sister never in a million years would have contacted him to ask about it. But in his family, it’s assumed that I’m in on these details, if not entirely responsible for them.

And it’s a tiny thing, absolutely, but the tiny things start to pile up. The expectations are so uneven.[/quote]

You two need to communicate as a couple. The invite was addressed to the both of you. It’s not ok to not rsvp. If you both are dropping the ball on this, have a sit down and decide how you will handle the tasks going toward. Other people shouldn’t pay a price because you two don’t talk to each other about day to day to-do’s.[/quote]

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