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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Honestly, OP, I wouldn’t disclose the ASD to the independent schools until a while after DC started. They won't notice during the interview process.

I work at an independent school that says it can't accommodate kids with ASD but in reality, we have so many kids who are neurodivergent. Many have never been diagnosed. Your kid will would be completely fine. You just need to get through the door right now.[/quote]

This is terrible advice. Not disclosing can lead to a situation where the kid is asked to leave. Much better to be transparent upfront and be rejected than to be asked to leave later on. [/quote]

+1. I get really REALLY annoyed at all the mainstream private school parents who claim “oh, 50% of the kids at our Big3 are neurodivergent! It will be fine! So common!”

It’s just totally false. While there may be a small cohort of actually autistic kids at top privates, they’re mostly likely very mildly affected and never had behavioral issues, and were accepted prior to the diagnosis. The rest are all extremely mild ADHD or “ADHD.” Kids like mine (and possibly OP’s) who are gifted but visibly spectrumy even if not disruptive (stimming, prosody, eye contact differences, etc) will not get past an interview. [/quote]

Agreed. I have one AuDHD kid at a SN school who would never be successful in a mainstream private school because their support needs -- EF, social, academic -- are too high, and an ADHD kid who is thriving in such a school because all they need is basic accommodations. Picking a school means being ruthlessly honest, with yourself and any prospective school, about your child's needs.[/quote]

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