Reply to Concerned about my 11yo son. Does this sound like a disorder of some type? Developmental?

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Reply to "Concerned about my 11yo son. Does this sound like a disorder of some type? Developmental?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you mean like there's a physical task he normally can do and then one day he suddenly can't? Or that he never can do certain things?[/quote]

Op here. I wouldn’t say he’s declining but I also wonder if having someone step in to help when he struggled with things has left him a bit unable to do it for himself too. I worry about that aspect of day to day, oftentimes when he was confused by something we would step in and help him essentially doing the “job” but giving him credit for it. In hindsight, the same was happening and still is happening at school. I recently called to see if he had packed his sandwich in his lunch box, his teacher went to check and rather than have him confirm, confirmed for him.

I wonder if he’s not been given enough independence to learn how but because he struggled with things, I believe we all assumed we were helping him not hindering him.

I just can’t narrow down.

I have asked two sets of different pediatric groups for referrals and assistance to no avail outside of that initial evaluation. Because it happens at home and at school, I don’t know if it is possibly social anxiety, which is usually the only thing the doctor will mention if anything. [/quote]

Op, I'm not clear if he has always been able to, for eg climb the pool ladder and now can't? Have you ever asked him to turn off a light before and he did it more or less effortlessly? And when you say it may be because he wasn't given a lot of independence, do you mean you either turned the light off for him or you said something like "put your hand on that white switch on the wall and move it down towards the floor"? At age 11, it doesn't matter how much you guys did for him, these are fairly simple tasks that he's presumably observed and participated in many times. If I were you, I would go back through the years and try and write a detailed history of when you remember him doing basic tasks (turning on lights, faucets; putting on pants; making his bed however simply; combing hi hair; responding to 1/2/3 step commands; etc). Think about these questions/issues:
-Has he ever mastered one of these tasks?
-Has he lost dexterity (he can't physically do it) or comprehension(he doesn't know what he's doing)?
-Or did he ever have the skill to begin with?
-Put ages/dates around all of these events
-Give concrete examples of him doing 1-2-3 step requests (3 step - go upstairs, brush your teeth, turn off your light) and the dates/ages when he could or note if he can't. Also, try to remember if there are variables that stop him from doing some 1-2-3 step requests better or more consistently than others (cognitive vs physical exercises).

Your son sounds like my daughter did before she was diagnosed with epilepsy. However, in my girl's case, she lost her skills rather than never having attained them. That's why your situation feels neurological to me. I'm not trying to scare you, but I think you're right to pursue this further. Good luck[/quote]

That's a great piece of advice -- to start a list with dates and ages of the concerns, and his reflect on his abilities.[/quote]

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