Reply to DH doesn’t like sex

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have sympathy for all the women here in sexless marriages.

Is it an ED issue for you? In other words, if they could longer have PIV and Viagra (doesn't work all the time and for everyone) fails to help, would you be okay on other forms of sex and intimacy.

The reason I ask this question is that I have noticed when I have sex with a woman and I don't ejaculate she feels as if either I didn't enjoy it or I am into her etc. I feel like for us men when it comes to sex women expect us to always be ready wrong erection, ejaculation etc...Or is it just a perception that's wrong? [/quote]

I definitely associate erection with arousal. If my partner can't get it up, it very much feels like he's not into me. He says otherwise, but his heart rate doesn't go up, his eyes don't go glassy... all that physiological stuff that signals sexual interest is absent. And that's a big turnoff.

I posted above about being in a mostly sexless marriage with my best friend, who I would not leave over sex. He's always willing to focus on me, but it's clear he isn't aroused. And that's most of what gets ME going. So if he's not into it, I'm not into it. And yes, I have tried many times to forge ahead and hope he catches up. [b]He rarely does. And after, it's like he just had a good meal or something. No woozy pillow talk, no sweaty snuggling, just "that was great babe, good night!" Ugh, I don't even like thinking about how I feel after one-sided sex. [/b][/quote]

I am one of the pps who had this issue for awhile and I think you might be overthinking this?  I understand what you are talking about- DH being hungry for you versus "oh, sex- I can do that."  My DH is very much the same, and I have stopped worrying about it.  One, his libido isn't like mine, he never really has to wait for sex because it's always on the table for him without a wait.  So of course he's not going to act like a guy who's been thinking about it and waiting- he never reaches that point.  Two, sex isn't as romantic for him because he's a man who has been married for 17 years.  It's ok.  And three, when we are vacation he manages to be a little more revved up for me.  So I let that disappointment about it go.  We do it, he enjoys it, his level of passion is not my responsibility, especially since I do all the stuff he likes.[/quote]

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