Reply to I’m done—drop rope without warning?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have had the same situation. My dh is notoriously awful about planning and gifts. So I often just do it for him, which I resent as I do not like his mom. I am trying to not do this anymore, but I do hate awkwardness. This time I went to a store with him to pick a gift. Still, I had to remind him and go with him but he picked. Not ideal. And my mil doesn't even like me either! It all feels a little stupid.[/quote]

I really don't get people like you.

Why do you do this? Do you care that much about projecting a certain image of your husband and yourself? It speaks to a certain vanity and social anxiety, don't you think? Please believe me: your in-laws knew their son before you did. [b]They know he's not doing the work. [/b]They might not appreciate you changing the dynamic and inserting social make-work that they don't feel like reciprocating.

In other words... read the room.

[/quote]
NP but this is so true, and I don’t know why I do it, and I wish I did so I could just stop already. My DH gives .5%, so I give 50% so she doesn’t feel like an oversight, but the thing is, even though I know she knows it’s me—because as you said, she’s known him her whole life—she still expects more. I feel like a fool every time but don’t know how to stop, because now at this point, we all know it’s me, and that would look terrible. [/quote]

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