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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi OP!  I’m really sorry about your mom. I also have cancer and have been dealing with it for a while. A few comments -

1. I think some of the PPs have been a little harsh and blunt. I don’t know what your mental space is, and it can be really hard to hear how devastating this disease is. I hope you are taking care of yourself.

2. None of us know anything about your mom’s specific diagnosis (tumor subtype, spread, stage, etc), nor her personality. Is this how she copes?  That’s ok!  I used to disassociate for days on end. :)

3.  Drinking obviously doesn’t help her health but if it’s a coping mechanism, I wouldn’t try to take it away until you can find a good coping alternative for her.

4. Lifestyle and diet can have varying effects. Is she undergoing surgery?  Chemo?  Radiation?  Maybe you can try to research specific guidelines for her as she goes through treatment. Just one example, a high protein diet can be really useful after a lobectomy. Maybe couching it in terms like that will help motivate her.

5.  One of the harshest realities I had to face with my own diagnosis was that, while diet and exercise are great for many reasons, they can’t stop the cancer from progressing. It might slow progression, it might help me feel better while going through treatment. But it can’t take away this God awful disease.

My best to your mom. You sound like a caring daughter and I’m sure you are a great comfort to her. [/quote]
I’m sorry about your diagnosis. I think you’re missing something important though, OP’s mom is very actively not seeking OP’s involvement. She’s a competent adult and has the right to say no to her daughter.[/quote]

Pp here. Fair point. OP, make sure you are taking care of yourself. Many many adult children have been where you are - frustrated that their parent is not doing what the adult child thinks is best. You will need to come to peace with that. Lots of people can relate. [/quote]

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