Reply to Did I learn from my divorce or am I still in the honeymoon phase?

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Reply to "Did I learn from my divorce or am I still in the honeymoon phase?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Has your girlfriend been married before? Have kids? Want (more) kids? What is your custody arrangement?

You probably learned from your first marriage. You’re probably also still in a honeymoon phase.

[b]More self-awareness never hurts. I think you should reflect on who you are, and what you need, and how your girlfriend fits into that. Are you still looking for someone else to meet your unmet needs, or have you learned to self soothe? Who is she and what does she need? Can she meet her own unmet needs? Or do you just like having sex with each other (that’s valid)?[/b]

Be careful about making her a permanent fixture in your life, especially if she has kids (risk of breaking up is significantly higher), or wants kids (it’s hard to be a half-time kid when there are full time kids in the house).

And it’s likely your marriage didn’t fall apart because you didn’t have enough date nights. It likely fell apart because of the contempt your ex felt for your Disney Dad routine. You can’t fix that with roses and date nights, but you also don’t know if that’s going to be a problem in your next relationship until you actually have shared responsibilities.[/quote]

OP here. You have raised very good questions. And honestly I haven't done that deep dive. I did some in therapy. Perhaps I should still remain in therapy.

My GF is not divorced but she has a child from a prior relationship. I don't think we will try to have kids should we get married in the future.[/quote]

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