Reply to College Parent Pages/ Helicopter Parenting

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My kid is a Freshmen in college. I have never had Facebook. I don't follow any of that. I do see the general university webpage on Insta--and announcements there.

I never checked my kids' Canvas school sites since the first year in MS.  They were independent.  HS----they showed up and came home and all was good. They are completely independent.

I was turned off on the tour for our state school which was filled with NoVA parents and the truly idiotic over-bearing questions.  Kid is at a school that draws from all over, including Internationally, and the times we have had move-in, parent orientation, school tour and gone to visit the parents seem very chill and hands-off.  fwiw, it's ivy so don't know if it is the independence these kids have to make it there.[/quote]

You’re joking right?

In my experience, Ivy FB parent page truly is the worst for this sort of helicoptering. How do you think the kids got there in the first place without mama managing them every step of the way?

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Also, many MS kids are NOT ready for full independence. Had I left my ADHD/anxiety ridden 11 yo to fend for themselves in MS, I'd most likely still have a kid age 26 living in my basement working PT jobs randomly.  Instead, we got them the therapy they needed in late ES, continued thru MS and into HS and got them help for their lack of EF.  I stayed involved thru most of HS to ensure they didn't fall off track.  But the key was, I expected them to become more independent, as appropriate for their level of development.  I had them learn to stand up for themselves and let them take the fall for not Turning in HW assignments in MS/HS (by HS it rarely happened).  
Know what: they attended a T100 university with good merit, graduate in 4 years with a 3.5 gpa (killed by first year of a different major), started a job immediately and has been there 4+ years now doing well.

Had I not helped in MS/HS and helped them learn how to manage it all, they might not have succeeded.  Even the first year of college was a challenge, as it is for many ADHD/low EF kids.

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