Reply to I think we’re divorcing?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]To those of you jumping on op - she kind of buried the lede that he may have a side piece. Sounds like HE is taking the lazy way out to be with his AP - instigates a fight and then says he wants a divorce, putting the blame on OP so he doesn't have to do the hard work of admitting he wants to leave the marriage to be with his twin flame.

Yes we're only hearing one side of it but if she literally just had this fight with the dh it's understandable that she's licking her wounds.  Give OP some grace. [/quote]

We’re hearing the version most favorable to OP, though, and it’s kind of lot to read, tbh. It just sounds like a couple who has been married for a long time who are low on time and energy and speaking past each other. She tries to win his affection with things he doesn’t appreciate. And he tries to win her affection with things she doesn’t appreciate.

Honestly it seems solvable to me if they both want it. But OP is going to need to step up and be an adult in word and follow-up action and tell her husband she wants things to be better.

[/quote] Oh FFS she's pretty clear that his behavior has changed recently and noticeably and those of us who have BTDT understand. It doesn't sound like he's trying to win her affection at all. It's not solveable if one party doesn't want to solve it and it doesn't sound like he wants to solve it.[/quote]

Sounds like there has been much more going on for a long time. The trouble with you posters who have “BTDT” is that you cannot see anything else.

“But this pattern in our marriage has been playing out for the past 8-10 years. We kiss and make up, then the same patterns re-emerge. He has said in the past that he’ll try to change to be more affectionate, but something has changed recently. His resentments have hardened. And it’s likely tied to me working longer hours at a job I am terrified of losing because it brings in the significantly bigger paycheck”
[/quote]

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