Reply to Is it normal to want your kids to go to better colleges than you did?

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[quote=Anonymous]Like OP, I got into more prestigious schools than I attended (got into both UCSD and Wellesley, attended my state flagship) due to family finances. I did wind up attending a T10 law school. My spouse attended an Ivy.

My perspective for my kids is that they should attend colleges that are a good fit for them academically, personality-wise, and for their professional goals. I don't care that much about prestige, and having attended both a school with minimal prestige (my undergrad is considered impressive in my hometown, but not in DC or NY) and one with a lot of prestige (people will automatically respect me more when the find out where I went to law school), is that prestige is dumb. I received a fantastic education at my undergrad. While many of my peers at my law school were impressive, many were also not the impressive (merely wealthy, well connected, and well supported by family). The quality of teaching was better at my undergrad, the strength of connections better at my law school. Which wound up not mattering for me because I decided to make a left turn in my career and don't work in the legal industry.

What I wish is that my family had worked with me to find a school we could afford that also matched my desire to go work in a more competitive field in a place like DC, NY, LA, or SF. That did not have to mean being full pay at UCSD or Wellesley (the ways in which those schools are wildly different should tell you how unfocused my college search was). I should have looked at SLACs in places like Pennsylvania, California, Maine, upstate NY, and Massachusetts, some of which likely would have offered me merit aid as I had very good scores and a high GPA. I also should have looked at state schools like William & Mary and Pitt, which would have offered me proximity to the places I wanted to work later, peers who might also work in those places, and great academics. I just should have approached the whole thing more strategically, but I was 17 and knew nothing about the world, and my parents were honestly not much savvier (actually less savvy in many ways because I think they thought if they could force me to go to school nearby, I'd stay in our hometown, which was never, ever on the table for me.

So no, I don't think prestige is essential. Good fit is essential, I didn't have a good fit at either my undergrad or grad school, I intend to help my kids do better.[/quote]

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