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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Also, there are an equal number of complaints from Op's age group that parents ask too many questions, are too nosey or hurt someone's feelings with what is perceived as unsolicited advice.

Op, next visit, ahead of the next visit maybe you email with a friendly update on your news. That way there can be some prep for talking about it.[/quote]

Sure I could do that, but that kind of defeats the purpose of normal conversation and parents being interested in their own children.[/quote]

Lots of guilt tripping here. You all are off living your own lives, assumably not living lives with your parents. Hearing "updates" on what people are doing in their separate lives is exhausting and brings on feelings of powerlessness and lack of agency, that actually isn't living a life with someone. Find a way to exist with your parents. Live near them or vist to help them in their daily lives, so you don't have to have the meta talks about separate existences. You would instead have shared experiences. But, if what you really want is help--help making decision, help with childcare, help with marriage tensions, jus say you want help, and they can say yes or no. [/quote]

Thissssssssss.
 I don’t bog down my parents w serious life stuff we have going on.. Nor do they bog us down ..

If it comes up great - if not great.

We simply give our parents less to worry about and discuss far as my family is concerned. 
[/quote]

OP here ... I have no idea how this thread got so twisted that I was trying to burden my parents with serious life stuff ... I've never once discussed things like finances with them. [b]And lord knows they burdened me with their financial issues my entire adolescence and young adulthood. Still do to this day. Complain they have no money but go on luxury vacations 3-4x/year. Money and health ailments are quite literally 98% of their topics of conversation.[/b]

For me, I'm just talking about a normal back and forth conversation - how's work going/any interesting new projects around the house/what's new with DD's activitiy/etc.[/quote]

So they irritate you and you have a simmering dislike of them, and they need to make amends for their poor behavior by participating in emotionally neutral banter that actually isn't that at all on your end? Every interaction is a test--are they now attending to ME after they did not do this so well in my childhood?

They see all of this and are not going to play along. As adults, we know the look and feel and tension of these "tests", the watchful, angry, and  desperate eyes behind the fake smiles and questions. Is is the combination of anger and desparation that is nauseating and off-putting.

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