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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I strongly disagree with the Self-Driven Child, despite appreciating the excellent psychological practice Dr. Stixrud has built and using the services of Prep Matters, the tutoring business founded by Ned Johnson.

I feel this book is written such that it's easily misunderstood by a lot of readers, and gives a pass to all families with untreated or mistreated mental health disorders to let their kids close doors for themselves. Sure, if the kid has an IQ of 70 and not college-bound, maybe don't push him to academic heights he's never going to reach. But the book insists way too much on letting immature teenage brains make life-changing decisions at a moment in time when those decisions will probably have huge repercussions for their future. Regret later in life doesn't make up for missing a possible pipeline to a decent college - something that for most people, procures a middle class lifestyle.

It's important to create a bond of trust and listen to one's children, to what they want out of life and what they envision for themselves; but at some point if you've observed your child and have a good sense of their potential, you as the parent also have a say, and you can push back against social anxiety, fear of failure, refusal to go the classic route, or whatever it is that may be driving your child in an alternative direction. And there are therapists and psychologists who can help you tease out your child's mental make-up and what might be behind their decisions.

[/quote]

I liked the book but I can see your points. Parents could use it to justify complete non involvement. I think there's more nuance there, though.

One of my kids is like what a pp pointed out, more likely to resist ideas they didn't come up with themselves. If I tell them to do schoolwork they won't. For them, their actions basically beg for a hands off approach.[/quote]

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