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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My highly educated mother used to say that she would rather die than have dementia and told me I should not waste time money or energy on her if she were demented and preferably help her kill herself. She lead a healthy life, full of friend and activities. When she started to undergo some mild cognitive decline she certainly wasn’t thinking “this is it’s, give me the gun.”’ In fact she was in denial at first. By the time she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s at mid stage she didn’t really perceive what it meant or where it would go and had no capacity to plan for an end. Now she is stage 6 and can’t remember most of her life or where she is (memory care), is terrified of everything, confused, angry etc. she is unhappy but no way can she conceive of (or want) to end her life. Instead she wants constant attention, wants to move back home, wants to live with me, she wants to live but just a better life. She has no deciding making capacity.

Spouse and I were chatting the other day and we talk about this, about. It wanting to end up like my mom but how do you actually go about it? I compared it to having an innie and an outie (for the Severence fans here). The outie is us when we are younger and wanting to make a decision about ending things before we lose our marbles. The innie is us once we have dementia, and though our lives are circumscribed it’s the ones we have and ending doesn’t seem like an option. Who gets to decide who lives?[/quote]

This is such a wise take. If you have watched Severance it makes perfect sense. We think we can judge the lives of others, but once it’s *your* life, even if it’s not ideal, it feels worth protecting.[/quote]

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