Reply to DW doesn’t want my mother to move in with us.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's not about who you love more. You need to understand that if your mom is unable to live alone, guess what, she's not going to miraculously be independent when living with you. It's not as much about where she lives, but how. Who is going to prepare foods, feed her, take her to bathroom, wash her, do all the other basic things that we, independent adults, do ourselves? Add in medical issues, and someone has to take care of those as well. [b]Would you become a full-time nurse/caretaker to your mother? If yes, you move in with her in her house and have a go. [/b]I think most men approach eldercare completely unrealistically. [/quote]

But that wouldn't be fair to OP's wife either.   Presumably, right now there are things that OP does that he wouldn't be able to if he's a full time caretaker to his mother.    OP would have to quit his job, so that would be less household income.    If they have more than one kid, and they usually need to each drive a kid to various activities in the afternoon/on weekends, now OP won't be able to do his share of the driving, so what happens?  Do they hire a driver or tell the kids they can no longer do activities?
Maybe OP is the one in charge of mowing the lawn or cooking dinner each night while the wife has other household chores--if OP is taking care of his mom and can't do that, now the wife will have to do double the amount of chores or they will have to hire help (with the much lower income since OP has quit his job...)
So OP taking on all this additional work on his own isn't even a fair solution.[/quote]

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