Reply to Can a friend group survive two friends disliking one another?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The group can survive, but likely without you. It would take both people willing to be cordial always and it sounds like you can’t/won’t anymore.[/quote]

I have been cordial. In the group, not everyone can always make it due to scheduling for legitimate reasons. I almost always respond last and say I can’t make it if she is there. Some events like mutual friend birthday, I attend and try not to interact with the woman. [/quote]

Right but it sounds like you're the one who is the one at their limit with the other person.  The other person is still being invited by the group and you're the one who is considering declining get togethers because she is there.  Logically what's going to happen is that you will slowly get dropped from the group.   It would be one thing if she was the one not coming because of you or if they stopped inviting her.  But it sounds like you're the one pulling away so you'll be the one left behind.  [/quote]

She is literally the most available person ever. It doesn’t matter if it is a weekday morning or Sat night a month from now, she is always available and willing to do anything.

In our group, there is one friend who is very busy with work, her three kids’ very busy schedules plus her dh’s busy work schedule. I’m second most busy so the other busy mom and I are the ones who miss most gatherings.[/quote]

OP I have been in this exact situation and the result was, I left the group.

Ask yourself why she's so available. Likely this group is really important to her. She may not have other friends. If the reasons you dislike her are likely to bother other people, it might be harder for her to make other friends. If this group was formed as a new mom group, these might be the women most willing to put up with whatever her issues are.

If she's super motivated to keep the friendships, but you just can't tolerate her, you are going to have to bow out to get away from her. Do you have other friends?

You also might be able to try and hold onto one or two 1:1 friendships and just see those women occasionally without participating in the group.

She's not going to leave. You have to decide if you are willing to put up with her or not. For me it was a hard no -- my dislike was based on fundamental values, not just annoyance. [/quote]

I have other friends. I have new friends, old friends, dh’s friends and my kids’ friends. Everyone in my family is very social. My kids have long forgotten about these kids they knew when they were toddlers and preschool.

I will continue doing the slow fade. I do like the other women in the group. I like the women a lot and consider them close friends.[/quote]

I think you can keep the friendships with the other women, but on a one on one basis. Ask them out for coffee, lunch, etc but one at a time. Excluding one person would make the others uncomfortable.[/quote]

This is what I will do. I don’t want to do make an awkward group dynamic. If they have a party, I can still go. I’m not going to feel obligated to invite the woman to my home or celebrate my big events with her.[/quote]

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