Reply to My 8yo DD has become a spoiled brat

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DD will be 9 in May. She’s gotten progressively worse over the last 2 years, constantly angry and upset, lashing out, making sarcastic comments. We can have a great day of going to the movies, the arcade, dinner, and I’ll say no to buying one toy and she goes into a full meltdown crying, yelling, screaming it’s the worst day ever and she wishes I weren’t her mom.

Her dad and I are divorced and I understand she has a lot of emotion and struggle with that. I have tried to be patient. For years I have let her express her emotions and tried to be patient. I have ignored her bad behavior and tried to reinforce the good, pleasant behavior. I listen when she needs to talk but she just gets more and more angry when I listen and will start bringing up things from 2-3 years ago.

I finally snapped today. I took her to buy plants (which she loves), took her to see the new Minecraft movie, she was throwing a fit and being a brat the whole day, then when we were standing in line to go to Chuck E. Cheese she made sarcastic comments towards me and I was just done. We turned around and left.

I recognize a lot of this is also from watching YouTube (which her dad lets her watch with zero limits, and I recognize the things she says are from YouTube videos) and her peer group. The kids in her class are extremely foul-mouthed and also spend huge amounts of time on TikTok and YouTube.

When we got home I told her there will be absolutely zero screens, zero buying things, zero playdates until her behavior changes. I drew up daily calendars for her that she will follow down to the minute. I signed her up for 2 afterschool classes per day so she can be around better peers with more attentive parents.

I know I probably went overboard but I am so frustrated. The more understanding and gentle I try to be, the worse she gets. I feel like I am living with Veruca Salt, nothing is ever good enough. [/quote]

She needs more down time. This is frankly crazy. Shopping, movie, Chuck E Cheese in one day? I'm exhausted just reading about all of this.

And now you're making it worse by trying to DO MORE to correct the problem. Two classes per afternoon? A daily schedule to follow down to the minute? (???) I think this is going to make things worse. She's only 8. I get you're frustrated, but she sounds entirely overstimulated, and now you're over-scheduling her to make up for it. Can the two of you just...hang out? Not do a million activities or classes? Talk? Read? Have a play date with a friend?[/quote]

Yep. This is nuts. [/quote]

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