Reply to MIL move in to memory care next week- advised to lie to her

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No contact for a week is pretty standard. I am wondering if the people reacting like this is the most cruel thing ever have received or acted on this advice before?

What is actually cruel is to do is to string someone along who is adjusting and force them to re-start every day or half day. A week allows them to adjust to a new normal and acclimate to what is NOW their LIFE in a healthy and real way.

It's like if you have a kindergartener who didn't like being at kindergarten all day. The school would not let you go visit twice a day because...every day would be a miserable re-start and would hamper their adjustment and affect other kids. Same for residents.

If she is adjusting well, believe me, no one will bar you from entry or discourage you from visiting. They just want you to prepare for being a cooperative partner in her care by employing this best practice that is difficult but ultimately, humane, and it works.

Best of luck, OP. They will likely have her pretend she works there in some capacity, give her jobs to do. It's actually a really fortunate set up that she's old hat. They know her history, right?[/quote]

Of course you are: "Daddy can't come to visit you at school today, he has a very important meeting. But you are going to have fun making slime!" "We can't get ice cream instead of school today because the ice cream store is closed while kids are in school."

Thank you for providing the alternative perspective. I don't know if I agree, but, I do understand a bit better. I don't think it is quite like Kindergarten because you are not lying to kids.[/quote][/quote]

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