Reply to If you knew you can only see your adult kids 15 more times before you die, how would you feel?

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Reply to "If you knew you can only see your adult kids 15 more times before you die, how would you feel?"

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[quote=Anonymous]You can't view this issue solely from a DCUM standpoint.

First, many people on this site are above national average income. That is not reflective of Americans as a whole. Even adult kids who have done well may not have parents who are more than middle class.

Second, what about families where there are multiple children, living all over? Maybe there are a couple of second marriages thrown in there. Then you may have grandkids in one place with one parent and grandkids in another. Those types of situations are not easy to navigate. Nor are they easy to schedule visits around.

Any situation when there is a second marriage/partner of a parent typically does not go well. (I'm talking about many, many years after the death/divorce of other parent.)

Just read some of the responses here on DCUM and elsewhere; it is almost universal that any new spouse is going to be looked at with suspicion (Gold diggers!) and often hatred. This is especially true for women who marry men with kids - even if those kids are adults and with families of their own.

If the adult child does not make an effort to welcome the spouse then it makes it even harder for the parent to visit. They can go by themselves to their respective kids/grandkids but no one likes to leave their spouse behind every time. And no spouse wants to go where they are not wanted.

Also, lots of older retired people simply cannot afford to go and visit adult kids/grandkids more than 1-2 per year. There can be myriad other reasons, too, like health, trouble traveling distances, not having someone to care for the house, pets, etc. for a long visit. Many may have activities or even a part-time job (that they need for income)

IMO, as long as there is a good relationship then the visits should be split (if financially able) so the kids visit parents and then parents visit kids. [/quote]

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