Reply to Why is my husband so nasty to me when I get sick?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP there was a thread on the parenting forum (I think) a while back about some mom feeling annoyed when her family is sick. Basically it was because her mom treated her that way when she was a child. I had a similar experience and I have to control the annoyance I feel when my kids or husband get sick. So to answer your question, look into his childhood. [/quote]
np.. sigh.. this explains my own life and reactions so much.   I have had to learn to be a better parent over the course of 20 years.  I cringe when I think about some of the way I parented when the kids were younger.[/quote]

I'm going through a divorce so I've been doing a lot of reading, and one exercise that really stood out to me was to imagine if you had been properly parented by healthy and whole people. And imagine if your parents had been parented by healthy and whole people, and so on. Since I'm divorcing, I applied it to my STBX too, since I am lucky that I was parented pretty well. It really helps me to have compassion for myself and my parents and my ex. I hope you can have compassion for yourself too. &lt;3 [/quote]

And to be clear, this advice is NOT for someone whose spouse is being a total a-hole to a sick person. You don't need to do compassion exercises while you're convalescing and being emotionally abused. If you are an in emotionally unhealthy relationship, then you need to put on your oxygen mask and focus on yourself until you have solid boundaries and supports in place, or until you leave. After that, you can worry about viewing the unhealthy person with compassion. [/quote]

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