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College and University Discussion
Reply to "High stats kid with disappointing end results?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Gosh ... NYU is so many kids' dream school... I can't read this kind of post.[/quote] Oh, please. It is like someone posting that their kid can’t break above a 1450 on the SAT and you having a kid who can’t get above a 1250 so you “can’t read that kind of post.” Different kids have different goals and hopes…a high stats kid who worked for years towards a goal as the right to feel disappointed when it didn’t pan out and a safety becomes the best of the not-hoped for options. [/quote] Then perhaps you as a parent (and family) need to rethink your goals. Common sense and data tell you there are way more "qualified applicants" than spots at T25 schools. Way way more. So ultimately, the vast majority are going to get Rejected. If your "really smart kid" cannot understand that going in, and recognize the goal of doing well isn't just "a prestigious school" but also to learn and to find your path in life, then you need to adjust. The 25-50 schools are FILLED with "t25 rejects", those kids excel and do great things in life. My kid is at one ranked ~40---every single one of their 20+ friends was WL or Spring admit (or fall admit sophomore year) at multiple T25 schools. Many at over 4-5 schools. Top students, great kids, doing great things at college and will continue after graduation. Why? Because they realize you don't always get what you want in life and you make the best of what you do get. And also, a school ranked 30-40 is still an amazing school that literally 95% of students who are not there would be thrilled to be capable of getting into. [/quote] People are not robots. These young people, and their parents, are allowed to experience emotions. You can realize that the stats and facts are true. You can be prepared to move on with the knowledge that life is what you make. You can be disappointed, even sad, while also doing/acknowledging all of the above.[/quote] Unrealistic expectations lead to these emotions. TBH, it’s not healthy. [/quote] +1000 It's our job as a parent to help our kids learn how to "deal with rejections". And a huge part of that is setting realistic expectations. Too many kids think---I'm high stat, excellent ECs, so I'll just apply to 10 T25 schools and I'm going to get into some. Well that's not how it works---you have a single digit chance at each school, and most kids rejected were highly qualified. So a better plan (IMO) for the college process (and live) is to ensure you kids has realistic expectations. Sure, apply to several T25, but dont' let them fall in love with them as a dream school. Help them have an amazing well crafted list of targets and safeties that they will equally (or almost equally) love. And then if they don't get into the reaches, quickly go thru all the reasons they loved their targets and safeties and help them focus on the positive. [/quote]
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