Reply to 10 year old never gets invited to playdates/birthday parties

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We are immigrants and we have a strong tradition of hosting and reciprocating.  We quickly learned that Americans do not reciprocate.  Same old tired excuses - too busy, house too messy, don't know how to cook, don't know how to host, overwhelmed etc.

I did not hold my breath. We basically did not care if people did not reciprocate, we hosted whatever event my kids wanted and we invited everybody who wanted to join in.  Between family and friends, neighbors and co-workers, hobby groups and cultural groups, school friends...my kids grew up with full calendars.  As young adults, they have become the glue that holds their groups together.  They know that they have to put in the time, energy and money to make these events happen.  If they are introverts and would prefer not to do so, that is a-ok too.

But to expect reciprocity from others is to court disappointment.  The 'paucity mentality' in Americans is all-pervasive. Plus, they easily exclude others. They have not grown up with parties that their parents threw. Heck, most of them don't even have enough friends to count on one hand and call for a dinner.

My advice is to be a functional person with a functional life and make these events happen on your own.  You will have control over how it unfolds.   Most of the time a clean, welcoming, well decorated house and a table laden with home cooked delicacies is all that is needed to start the party. [/quote]

Please stop with the nasty stereotyping. [/quote]

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