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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m sorry.  Just keep showing up for her and bringing food.  For the cleaning, take care of the things that seem obvious- trash, dishes, laundry.  And don’t do anything that seems threatening or overstepping- going through papers or Giving stuff away.  Bring easy meals for the freezer.  Bring paper plates and napkins. Put the laundry in baskets or take some to drop off laundry.  It’s hard for you too…you are doing a good thing.  [/quote]

This exactly. I posted before about getting her permission before cleaning other than basic things. The above post has the right balance of helping without imposing your will. It's more empowering. A home starts to feel less overwhelming with the dishes washed and laundry taken care of. Of course she can throw out dirty diapers mentioned earlier in thread. It's OK to do a quick wash of counters when she is busy. I would vacuum a little too once she sees how nice it is to have things a wee bit tidier., but make sure she gets input into when since the baby could be napping or sensitive to the noise (I think I read there's a baby in the mix). You can then gently offer to hire someone for a more deep clean or gently offer other things, but it is important for her to feel she has the power to say "no" even to something that is meant to be helpful.

Also, this will sound crazy, but see if she will get outside with you for walks, visits to the playground with the kids. Sunshine and exercise help. Open blinds at home if she allows it and open windows. Fresh ait in a home helps mood and letting the sunshine in. Often when depressed people close the blinds and hide. [/quote]

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