Reply to How to help my sister with her house ?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You and whoever is going to help go over (ideally including someone to watch the children. You tell her privately that the state of the house could lose her the children. You also tell her that she and the children deserve to live in a clean environment. You tell her that she can help, she can go somewhere else, or she can go into a room and close the door. You tell her you love her. You say it all without judgment. And then you just do it.

You also need to do everything in your power to get her into therapy. I can’t imagine the pain she’s feeling in that situation.[/quote]

Do not threaten her with losing the kids.  When you are over, help clean up.[/quote]
It's not a threat, it's a wake up call that she needs to hear. Divorces with APs often turn nasty, and she [i]cannot[/i] have the house like that. Sister has to accept help with the house and she has to get therapy. She has been dealt the worst of hands, but fortunately has a supportive family to help her. If she is resisting all entreaties she needs to hear how dire the situation is.[/quote]

CPS will not care about a messy house.  Grow up.  You do not threaten someone.  That's a horirble thing to do.[/quote]
I am not one of the PPs who suggested CPS, I absolutely wouldn’t do that. If you have not seen how men weaponize custody, then I am happy for you and all of your loved ones. Dirty diapers strewn on the floor and rotting food would not go over well with any of the many possible evaluators in this situation. And CPS is very sympathetic to dads generally.

There is a big difference between making a threat and telling someone they are in danger and you are going to help them.[/quote]

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