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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why do men seem so nonfunctional? [/quote]

I am a successful man who has severe ADHD.  It isn't nonfunctional, it is a different way of functioning. It is also functioning in a way you may not agree with or understand. And as much as woman feel it bothers them, mentally/emotionally it is a thousand times worse for us. Mostly because we know how you feel about it and that we are frustrating you, and the stress of stressing you out exacerbates the the symptoms/things that drive you crazy.

The best way to describe how every minute of the day feels is that I feel like I am watching 300 movies at one time, have no idea which one I should be focusing on but feel like I am expected to know the details of every movie.

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What's frustrating though is that we can have ADHD too and no one cares. I am a woman with severe ADHD married to a man with ADHD and no one has ever suggested that my husband take on any extra executive function work to help me. My husband gets sympathy and advice for how to ask for support from me and encouragement to practice self-care; I get strategies and suggestions about how to organize both of our lives for us, often with a guilt trip about how I'm not being accommodating if I push back (like the couples therapist who suggested that it become my job to remind him to take his medication when he's been taking daily meds of one kind or another since first grade, and then told me I wasn't being supportive when I said I wasn't willing to accept that responsibility, or the person who thought it was reasonable for him to expect me to be available to answer the phone any time he has a kid at the doctor or pharmacy because he can't remember their birthdays and it's too embarrassing to carry a card with them written down because it means you can't play it off as a brain fart).

I'm not blaming you for this because I realize it's not your fault that things are this way, but the reason women get tired of hearing "but ADHD" is that neurodivergence in men is seen as an excuse for not meeting society's standards in a way that it absolutely isn't for women. We have to watch all those movies too and then create the cliffs notes for the men who somehow manage to meet deadlines and not miss meetings between 9-5 but at 6pm can't figure out that the email from the school called "important: new pickup procedure" is more important than catching up on r/politics.

It is hard and frustrating for everyone though and I don't mean to minimize that. You guys are socialized to expect this kind of support and it's a hard battle to fight. If you find that you can't keep on top of your daily life tasks, I would recommend talking to a psychiatrist about medication and/or looking into therapy/executive function coaching.[/quote]

That’s not true.

I’m a woman with ADHD and my ex was not all sympathetic to my diagnosis and was unwilling to work with me to find better strategies that weren’t “try harder” or whatever works for him.
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I am confused -- what part of what you quoted do you think is not true? The rest of what you're saying seems to agree with it.[/quote]

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