Reply to For those of you who prioritized "the spark"/attractiveness/sexual chemistry, how have things turned out?

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Reply to "For those of you who prioritized "the spark"/attractiveness/sexual chemistry, how have things turned out?"

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[quote=Anonymous]DH and I met 30 years ago and have been married 25 years.  We had physical attraction/sexual chemistry from the jump, but we were friends for two years before we acted on that.  Based on our experience, I'd say you need the physical attraction, but that alone is not sufficient.  Spark is also needed, but I'd define it in a way that goes beyond sex -- for me, it's really about getting each other's jokes, laughing together (even, maybe especially, when you're in a tough place), and just having fun together.

Beyond all of this, however, in the long run, you need to have kindness, respect (civility even), and a commitment to having each other's back. The last doesn't mean that we always tell each other we're right, even when we're wrong (sorry, Sade and Rogers & Hammerstein), but that when we disagree, we do so with love.  DH sees the best in me and when he feels like I'm not being that person, he'll call me on it.  And I do the same for him.  For that, I am profoundly grateful.

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