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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was raised Protestant, but never really felt like it made sense, even as a kid. As a teenager, I became agnostic, mostly because I couldn't reconcile so many tragedies in the world with the concept of an all-powerful, loving God. I never considered myself an atheist, because I couldn't fully commit to the idea that there is nothing out there, but I was comfortable with questioning and being uncertain of God's existence.

In college, I became friends with an atheist and her certainty that God didn't exist caused a knee-jerk reaction in me that God [i]did[/i] exist. Acknowledging the certainty I felt caused me to reexamine my agnosticism, and ultimately I went looking for a religion that embraced the uncertainty of God's nature (or our understanding of God) without necessarily being uncertain of God's existence. I found Judaism, which encourages questioning and critical thinking and views those not as a crisis of faith, but as an expression of faith. I converted to Judaism and married a Jew and am now raising a Jewish family.[/quote]

"I couldn't fully commit to the idea that there is nothing out there" - Overcoming the fear that has been instilled in you through most of your life both through direct teaching (you were raised protestant) and society/culture (christianity is the majority religion in the US) is typically the last step to realizing truth. It's a shame you have not yet been able to reach it, but I respect your search. [/quote]
I think you may have misunderstood my story. It wasn't out of fear that I rejected atheism (which I never committed to) or agnosticism. I wasn't afraid of the possibility of nothingness or the uncertainty of not knowing; I embraced the unknown of God's existence and largely lived my formative years without God. I realized when presented with atheist certainty that there is no God, that I did, in fact, believe there is a God, and that my issue was simply with the Christian understanding of God, rather than God's existence itself. I'm not still reaching or searching for a truth. For me, Judaism is it.[/quote]

What were your original doubts about agnosticism?  How did you settle on Judaism when Christians and Muslims all are technically worshipping the same God?  Did you consider any non-Abrahamic?[/quote]

I was agnostic from middle school through early college. It was really talking to my friend who had been raised atheist and who was certain that God does not exist that caused me to reevaluate how certain [i]I[/i] was about God. My understanding of atheism and agnosticism was that atheism was a rejection of God's existence and agnosticism was a state of saying, "maybe, maybe not." I recognize that may not be how everyone defines atheism or agnosticism; I'm just telling you how I related to agnosticism and atheism, because the ways I defined them at the time impacted how I defined myself.

Anyway, my reaction to my atheist friend's certainty that God didn't exist was certainty in my own mind that God did exist, which honestly surprised me after so long living as if there were no God. It didn't feel right to continue to call myself agnostic if I felt this certainty that God existed (again, because my understanding of agnosticism was about uncertainty), so I went looking to reconnect with God. I didn't start with Judaism. I actually started with other denominations of Christianity - Presbyterian, Lutheran, Congregationalist, Catholicism, and even Unitarian Universalism. But too much of Christian theology still didn't make sense to me (the Trinity, Original Sin, Heaven and Hell). Jewish theology is a much better fit for me. No, I didn't consider any non-Abrahamic religions. Maybe if I had lived in an area where they were more common, I would have, but ultimately, the thought processes and theological underpinnings of Judaism were what drew me to it, and I don't think anything else would have been quite "right" for me.[/quote]

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