Reply to Ruby Franke/mormon mom-vlog doc

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This sounds fascinating.

There is a Mormon family who lives down the street; I have not met them and I understand the kids go to a private school.  Can’t say I know much about Mormons in .general.

Will chuck out the Hulu documentary. Thanks! [/quote]

Just to be clear, this is a documentary about a mom blogger who abused her children in a horrific way.[/quote]

Dp, and completely agree. But you’ve got to admit it gives a glimpse into the unique lds culture in Utah. Some of my closest friends are LDS and even they raised an eyebrow at the ridiculously high standards of perfection in Utah LDS. The cultish following of Jodi as the men and women sought guidance towards perfection was clearly tied to the LDS beliefs. [/quote]
+1 I used to be Mormon. People who think this has nothing to do with Mormonism are deluding themselves.

The church instructs believers to accept authority without questioning it. It says pronouncements from the church are from divine revelation, not a rule for discussion. So the church recommends a therapist as approved (Jodi was in thick with LDS leadership) the family assumes that means they are an authority to be heeded. Their spiritual future is in danger if they don’t. There’s no framework for questioning built in, there’s no such thing as an LDS licensing ombudsman to appeal to. If you don’t cooperate with the therapist’s directives, they can recommend to your spiritual superiors that you aren’t in good standing anymore, which can lead to your Temple Recommend getting suspended or even removed (excommunication). And you can’t do anything important through the church without that recommend.

All of the abusive parenting rhetoric employed by Ruby and Jodi has its roots in Mormon beliefs. Jodi’s rise to success can be directly attributed to the church leaders who recommended and advertised her services. They gave her access to a virtually endless client pool and watched idly as she destroyed the lives of her clients for years. We know unquestionably that church leaders witnessed Jodi verbally and physically abusing children who were left in her care (ie her niece) and still actively encouraged her methods. I find it so frustrating that people pussyfoot around assigning the Mormon church blame in this case, maybe out of some desire to respect widely held religious beliefs, but imo not all religions deserve respect.

In Shari’s book, she talks about being sexually abused by an older man from church and the way that the church opted to punish HER while letting him off scot free, no questions asked - it was a deliberate, coordinated cover up by a large number of church leaders who apparently actively condone the sexual abuse of women. At a certain point we have to acknowledge that the issues with abuse in Mormonism are not just one-off flukes.

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+1 well said PP. I was raised Mormon in an abusive household.  I would add that the church also is VERY gender role heavy. The emphasis on maintaining a years supply of food also adds a bit of fatalism to the church and the afterlife and being sealed together is a very big deal. (Or at least was in my family)

The mans job is to provide and the woman’s to take care of the household.  In my house, my dad was the abuser, but if it were my mom, my dad wasn’t around a lot to have known what she did.  The children were her business and as long as we were “good” and quiet, we are fine. This also leads to a LOT of perfectionism in women trying to be the perfect girl, woman, wife and mother.  Even though I left the church, I could relate to Ruby’s thinking she wanted to be the “perfect mom.”  The church drills that into you as being your true purpose in life.

I think the Dad in this situation felt a little emasculated and lost starting when Ruby made more money with her vlogging. It snowballed from there with him checking out a little more as he was expected to take on a smaller role in the family as his church given role of provider was lessened and he became more of a child role in the household.  I am also thinking he was in shock when he asked about what emaciated meant. Like he really needed them to go slower so he could process what was happening to his kids.  He broke down in tears just after that.  [/quote]

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