Reply to “My parent lives far away”

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Reply to "“My parent lives far away”"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It seems like your daughter is the one to talk to first. He's too young to interpret what she's telling him to say in a broader context because he simply doesn't have a broader context yet.

But you could start by asking her what she is feeling about mom, and what she means by "far away."[/quote]

This.
It’s possible your daughter is coping with a lot more than you may realize.
Her response of creating a narrative that mom moved away for work sounds like self preservation, like she may be feeling concerned that people will think something is wrong with her that her mom isn’t in her life. So she’s creating a reason for her absence that sounds reasonable in her mind.

She may need to talk to someone about her internalized shame, embarrassment, or feelings of anger or abandonment about this so that she can really understand that this does not reflect on her at all and this is a mom problem, not a DD problem. [/quote]

I am well aware that my daughter is hurt and confused by her mom's disappearance.  She certainly remembers her mom being present in her life, and is both angry and her and misses her.   She is in therapy, and we talk a lot about it.  I have other female family members who try hard to fill the gap, but of course it's not the same.  She's giving people a reason that stops conversations, because those conversations are hurtful.  I'm not upset that she's doing that.

But what she tells people outside the family, and what she tells her little brother don't have to be the same.  [/quote]

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