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[quote=Anonymous][quote]"Vacation Wife" here. You can search my story- I found a lot of solace in sharing on DCUM because I wasn't seeking much support in real life with the thought of staying and not wanting to permanently tarnish family/friend relationships or views of him. I tried. I tried so, so hard. He came totally clean upon discovery, zero trickle truth. Then for 20 straight months, he threw himself into both couples and individual therapy, read all the books, adopted healthy habits (no drinking, improved diet, trained and completed a marathon), reconnected with his lifelong guy friends, was fully present at home, made a positive career move that was less stressful. I thought we were it, we were going to make it. We were going to burn the first marriage to the ground and build something foundationally sturdy and inherently beautiful in its place. Then in 2024, 20+ months after Dday, I caught him texting his high school girlfriend and the messages were all deleted. I kicked him out and never looked back.

On one hand, I feel at peace that I truly tried to muster every ounce of grace, empathy, and hope I could. I feel truthful and proud when I tell my kids that mommy gave it her all. But, man, the other hand wishes I walked away and saved myself the mental and emotional mountains I climbed to end up in the same spot.

Hugs, OP.[/quote]

I remember you and was sad and surprised to hear you guys didn't make it. Clearly erasing texts, especially in your situation, was problematic. Do you know if it was "cheater" behavior, in that case?  I thought I remembered you saying she had been through an affair in her own marriage.  Let me be clear that I am not questioning you walking away - he knew what your boundaries were. I'm just curious whether his behavior was just poor coping, immaturity or something else, and I wonder how much he begged for another chance.[/quote]

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