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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There are no "rules".  It's a celebration, not a financial obligation or a fund-raiser, although etiquette does require a gift of some kind.  Still, you ought give only what you comfortably can afford, taking into account any collateral expenses associated with attending, as when it's a destination event where you'll incur travel costs just to be there.

For those who may say you should cover the per capita cost of attendance for yourself, nobody should be hosting an event if they're dependent upon repayment from guests in order to afford what they planned.  Guests have no control over how elaborate, or not, an event is.  [/quote]

NP. While many disagree, I appreciate this take. The costs of attending the wedding should be relevant to the gift amount. My husband and I are struggling with the price of the wedding of a close family member. We aren't cheap, but as a larger family flying to a tropical destination requiring flights that will cost a minimum of $800 RT for each of us, paying for multiple rooms at an expensive hotel, purchasing high-priced food at the hotel, dressing for a cocktail dress code, plus the shower and gifts, we are talking about spending well over $5000 (probably closer to 10K), to attend this wedding. Our family members recognize what a huge ask it is for all of us to attend. I don't know if we can afford to give a gift of more than $1000 on top of these expenses. I sincerely hope that isn't the expectation, especially with the current economic uncertainty.[/quote]

Don’t go or only a couple of you go.

No you don’t match the amount and apply head. It matters how close you are, second wedding, is it a destination wedding so it’s like 30 ppl who go, etc

You don’t have to do everything you’re invited to.[/quote]

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