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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Those situations are not even remotely similar. He is physically alone in his room because all of his friends are doing things he isn’t allowed to do, through no fault of his own. So he is actually lonely - no one around to hang out with. You weren’t smart enough to get into a fancy school, so I’m sure you were jealous of your friends who worked harder and did get in. [b]But presumedly you went to some other college or got a job and made friends and could do things with those people. [/b] It’s like telling a hungry kid who can’t eat the birthday cake because they are allergic to it that you understand hunger because once you spent all your money on burgers and didn’t have anything left for ice cream when all your friends saved and got it. Hanging up on you was kind of a jerk move. He should have just rolled his eyes and said thanks. But you probably kept bringing up your own stuff, which isn’t even remotely helpful. But he is still learning social norms and you’re an adult, so give him grace and stop trying to one up him. He needs compassion, not ‘back in my day!’ [/quote] I went to a commuter college. Most of my classmates were part-time students who were busy to hang out with me outside of class.[/quote] It might have been helpful to share that part of the story earlier. "I know what it feels like to be socially isolated in college, and it sucks. I'm sorry you're dealing with this now. I'd say you'll forget all about this one day but for me it's been 25 years and I'm still pissed off. I hope you aren't in the same situation." I'm sorry you had a disappointing experience, OP. But it does sound like if you're having trouble getting past it still, it might be time to unpack that more. Also, I really agree with others than when someone is sharing something they are having a hard time with, it's better to listen than to tell them all about the time you had a hard time. That said, who knows why he hung up. Can you ask him? "Hey nephew - I'm so glad we got to talk the other night. I'm still mulling over our conversation, and I feel like you got angrier with me than I understand. Can you tell me why? You mean a lot to me."[/quote]
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