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[quote=Anonymous]My friend royally spoiled her son. I came from poverty and nothing and a single mother addict and attended a top school on athletic scholarship. I valued those classes with my life. Life with no safety net.

In any event it was obvious to me the kid was going to have problems. I wanted to leave it alone but could spot it instantly. There was zero emphasis on being mentally resilient for the kid, and his mother is from a culture we’re boys are spoiled by their mothers.

I am at a party with her and we are lightly complaining about paying tuition. I held back because my tuition checks were going to Princeton, which had a nifty monthly payment plan with no interest and only an 80 dollar admin fee. No debt involved. I sat and listened to this woman talk about her son at a very good public university in Virginia, knowing he already flunked out once because he was addicted, or excessively reliant on, pot. No surprise to me.

She was telling me she sent the check three times and each time it was returned. We are talking late February here. I immediately told her that universities were expert at taking your money, as my brother in law with four kids at Cornell, Carnegie Mellon, Tech and UVa often confirmed with me. (Cornell and Princeton were the best with parent service, for what it’s worth, even calling about parking fines and a discount offer to get them cleaned before graduation). I told her repeatedly her kid had dropped out of school. Impossible she said. I hear detailed stories about his classes and tests (of course he called Mom nearly every day). I felt badly, but I told her there is zero chance he is enrolled. Zero. For all of her smothering, I give her credit - she left the party immediately and drove in the middle of the night to him. I begged her husband to go with her as the interstate of the middle of the night in the winter could be dangerous. He didn’t go and I felt bad.

Of course I was right. The kid had been kicked out. He ballooned up a 100 pounds as he was trading the heavy doses of Adderal his mother connived to get for him at a huge profit for pot. The kid came home and struggled for two years. He could not function without his mother. He was inspired by Food Network and was admitted to the best culinary school in the country. Expensive and paid for by his parents. The mother called me to ask me what I thought. I told her to go for the classes and postings that got him up as early as possible in the morning and kept him very busy. No time or energy to procure or smoke pot. At this point she was listening. The credit goes to the kid - too of his class and the class captain. He is doing well and married spectacularly.

I told her a few months ago that not many do well after such dishonesty. Not a judgment- but it takes as much work to live a total lie as opposed to just doing the work. Adjustment is not easy after this. I complimented her parenting in the end because she did what she felt was right for her kid. She mentioned that I would have never recovered if I did what her kid did, but as good as necessity was for me, I didn’t want to glorify it either. [/quote]

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