Reply to Guilt tripping the “good” daughter

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[quote=Anonymous]OP I say this as someone who has been there. Look at how you are even speaking. You are I assume a middle-aged woman announcing to a group of strangers that you are a "good girl." It's time to be a big girl and do what is best for the family you created by figuring out your boundaries.

Emotionally healthy elders can be part of an extended family and appreciate the help they get, but have empathy and reasonable expectations. Sometimes with dementia-good people because difficult, but often, difficult people just become more difficult and entitled.

Your job is to make sure she gets adequate care, not to make mommy think you are a good girl. Put your kids, marriage and self- first so that you don't end up making your own spouse and kids into caregivers as soon as your journey is over. You need to figure out the reasonable options she can afford and provide choices between say residential facilities and aging in place with a team. Get an outside aging care professional involved for guidance, but also to be a buffer. It's OK for mommy to be mad at you. Your goal is to make sure she has decent care, not to meet all her emotional needs.[/quote]

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