Reply to Awkward – neighbors overheard me talk about their DC

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[quote=Anonymous]Three separate topics.

Yes, it's thoughtless (I won't say rude as I think rudeness is usually intentional rather than just ignorant) to say you've never seen a baby so tiny if it is not a newborn baby! However, this just might not even occur to many people. I had a really "fat" baby who then fell off the charts. I remember being very pleased when people said he was chubby and then feeling a bit distressed when people observed that he was skinny. This is to the people who say it's so outlandish to be upset by it. While I didn't ever think those people (most of them, there were a few people who would say it deliberately to push buttons, because sadly some folks are like that...but most people) did not mean to be rude, it's just that I could have done without the constant reminder that my kid was falling off the charts. It was not offensive to hear people say he was tiny, it was stressful.

That said, the fact that OP is using this comment to almost justify to herself insulting another kid because it really is uncool to fire back at someone's child because you feel your own child has been insulted. Two wrongs don't make a right, etc, etc.

That said, it's just not really that necessary to justify every off-hand comment between a husband and a wife. If they overheard you, things might cool down for a while. If you notice that happening, clear the air. It's going to feel ridiculous talking about it, because it sounds like both comments (hers and yours) were merely clumsy rather than super insulting. I'd follow her lead. Invite her to coffee right away and you might just mention that your DC had issues and that's why you're sensitive to comments about size, even though you know you shouldn't be and that people mean well. Then if she says "well, why did you say my kid was ridiculous" or something, you could just apologize and say that you didn't mean it to come across that way, and that maybe it's just better to avoid remarking on kids' size. You could even laugh it off and say "I guess talking about childrens' sizes can be as fraught as discussing dress sizes" or whatever.

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