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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "How do you deal with friends having affairs?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Those teens are feeling their chemistry— I’m sure it is palpable. Don’t lie to your kids[/quote] I can't, they are old enough to have their own opinions and also distance themselves. They don't want to distance from their friends, it's not their fault. It's adults screwing things up, and a sad adult like myself caught in the middle inadvertently and not handling this burden well. [/quote] Why are you respoonsible for handling a burden here? The. Kids. Can. Get. Together. Under their own steam. They aren't little kids. Meanwhile you can stop being caught in the middle by removing this woman from your life. If this is a case of "But we're in a larger social group of families that do things together" etc. -- you are not too old to find new friends and break out of the social circle stuff. Yes, I'm the PP from above. I just am sorry to keep hearing you sound like you feel so trapped and have to keep the relationship. You really don't have to! [/quote] Sorry if I wasn't clear, it's not just about the kids, it's about me as well. I do not want to break the friendship that means so much to me, I just feel like my world is crushed. Especially if I have to break away from the entire circle my social life (whatever little I have) revolves around for years now. I have memories going back years, photos, trips together, going through difficult decisions together and it's just one of them, a challenge. I don't think that doing what you suggest to do will make me better psychologically. I think this will be something I will deeply regret. The "lover" may be a temporary thing and I already distanced my family from this person. Now I need to make sure my friend knows and makes a decision appropriately. The future of their marriage or the affair shouldn't be my concern to control in any way. My burden is that my friend doesn't know about my feelings about the "lover" and why. And this is what needs addressing. If something happens and divorce is in the picture and the "lover" suddenly becomes a new spouse then it's possible that I will be the one dumped.. But in that case it will be my friend betraying me and I won't have regrets that our journey had ended. [/quote] You seem to be trying awfully hard with a person of poor moral character. Have some decency.[/quote]
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