Reply to Handling school resistance to applying out

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So you told them because you didn't pay the deposit for next school year? Otherwise there was no reason to tell the school anything.

Just be gracious and patient until you leave.
This is nothing.

[/quote]

They need to request transcripts and recommendations in order to apply out.[/quote]

Right, but were these requests just that, of the 2-3 teachers and the registrar? OP gives me the impression that she emoted all over the administration because she felt guilty for "abandoning" her legacy. I apologize, OP, if you did your best to stay under the radar. But my point is that you do not owe the current school an explanation or an announcement or any communication other than what's absolutely necessary regarding material sent for future schools to admit your child. Your context of generational attendance is a lure.

[/quote]

Op here. I emoted to no one.

The main office is the place that distributes records requests to the person who acts as the registrar (they have other official administrative functions, too) and the HOS approached me after we submitted our records request. They said “I saw that you’re applying out. I’m surprised that you would do that.” I was caught totally flatfooted but I said that DD was curious about options and so we were exploring them with her. Nothing else.

I didn’t say a word to anyone else beyond the two teachers. But by the next week work had gotten around, presumably from the Head and person who acts as registrar. I don’t know how word got to the person I volunteer with or the development office. I do know that my late mom was a longtime development volunteer whose time overlapped with some of the people still in the administration and who was friendly with them, so I’m sure that made them feel like they had license to talk to me in a way that crossed boundaries.

The emotions have been very one-way, which is weird because I thought I would feel bad changing my relationship with my school, and instead it’s like school is the one barfing their feelings out. It’s uncomfortable. I know we invested a lot of time and money in the school, but ultimately it’s not like we are dating or even friends. It’s just an institution and my child is my flesh and blood and I’m going to do right by her first.[/quote]

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