Reply to How do you deal with a spouse who undermines your parenting every step of the way?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH likes to be the good cop, and steps in almost every time I ask teen [b]DC to pick up after themselves, feed the dog which they promised to as a condition of getting said dog, pack their own lunch.[/b] All the small things, no big deal, basic parenting stuff, but it often becomes a big deal when DH likes to step in and disagree with me and shows DC he is on their side. I don't scream or yell, yet DH makes me the villain when it's literally the kind of basic parenting happening every minute around the world. What do I do?

Can't get into a fight with DH every time, but also can't watch DC deteriorate and turn into an unreliable person with all sort of bad habits. 4 years later now DC still doesn't feed the dog consistently. My choices are: remind DC, which DH doesn't like and it becomes a fight, or I feed the dog even though DC promised to, or let the dog starve. If DH wasn't this way, I am convinced DC would have learned it and become automatic after 1 month. DH thinks he's a loving parent, but he's hurting the kid long term. [/quote]

I'd do the following:

1. Stop packing lunches. If DC starves, they starve. If they ask for a lunch, tell them to ask dad.

2. Stuff that's left out for 72 hours gets tossed. Don't even have to say anything, just toss it and if DC asks, tell them to ask dad where it is, you have no idea.

3. Tell H congrats! The dog is now his responsibility. Put up a chart with feedings and walks. If they aren't checked off daily, dog gets re-homed. If dog has an accident, H or DC get to clean it up.[/quote]

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