Reply to How do you deal with a spouse who undermines your parenting every step of the way?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here: problem is I love the dog even though it was not my idea to get her. Because I take care of it more than anyone else does now (DC promised to do the basic dog chores which would take perhaps 30 mins a day, but hasn't, after 4 years). I don't want the dog to starve, it's not fair. My issue is not that I have to feed the dog, that would be petty. My issue is it's something DC could have learned years ago, if not for having a father who normalized lack of accountability. The on-going message is: If DC doesn't do something they should, it's ok, we should let it slide. If I dare bring it up, then it's bad. My options are: fight with DH, or let DC learn you don't have to fulfill your commitments. I don't want either, what can I do so these aren't my only options? [/quote]

This is how it [b]ALWAYS[/b] works with a dog.  Damn near universal...

Not a particular hill to die on - chalk this up to a lesson learned for you - you should not have made this a pre-condition on getting the dog in the first place since it is always a losing proposition for the parent and now you are left with the struggle you currently find yourself.

Take this as a loss and move on.

Other parents, take note and don't make this mistake - YOU will be the primary caregiver for the dog, not the kids that's how it works -- hear me now, believe me later.

Now, in regards to other aspects of responsibility and accountability you are in the right and you and DH need to get on the same page regarding this.  If this is a consistent theme in all issues of child accountability then you may need some outside help(family counseling) to sort it all out and come up with an approach that he can sign on to.

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